Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
