# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
