I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
