He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
