WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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