6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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