My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
