That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My Higher Power is John Stamos
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
