Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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