this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
