Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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