i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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