Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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