what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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