He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
