Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
