dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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