Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
