Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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