Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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