Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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