Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
