apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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