So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
honey bunches of taint.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
