you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
