What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
