glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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