i just had sex bonerless
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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