I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
