whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
