I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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