You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
