I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
