maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I need a hoe opinion
go on
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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