I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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