I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i dont even know how to be here
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
