one two three fourrrrnication!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
