I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
