The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
