You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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