it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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