called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
