The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
