I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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