Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
