Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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