I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
