Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
