And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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