The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
