i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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